Finding balance again….

I want to be who I was before I decided to jump into competing. That was a girl who lost 30+ pounds. No trainer. No food scale. No meal plan. Just eating healthy food that I loved. And working out because I loved it even more!!! Because my body is in such a sensitive state it will be some weight gain. Possibly a lot. Hopefully not a ton. But I have to remember that my body will eventually adjust and go back to its happy place. The steps I will take to achieve this
1. Throwing out the scales!!! I will not weigh myself or my food. This was becoming an obsession. Which felt like it was leading to depression. No scales will define me.
2. No meal plan. No tracking calories. No macro counting. Another obsessive behavior that drove me crazy and made me upset with myself when I was not able to satisfy a craving. Or if I do satisfy my craving. Led to even further binging behavior cause its like screw it I messed up anyway. Eating without guilt. I will eat healthy balanced meals like I know I can but if I want fruit. I will eat the fruit. If I want cereal. I will eat it. If I want some chocolate. Better believe I will have some chocolate. It’s about balance!!!
So now my list only has 2 changes. Lol. But for me these 2 are huge!!! I refuse to let fitness take over my life in a negative way. I’m ready to lift heavy because I love it. Not because I have to! I am ready to go to lunch with a friend unplanned because I still have to live my life. This will be a new learning process for me. In the end…I’m just striving for happy. Healthy. And fit!!!

 

So called Coaches

So you want to compete right??? First thing is first. Who the heck will I choose a a coach??? Most do not realize the necessary consideration you should take when looking for a coach. I’m going more toward the topic of bad coaches that mislead their clients, put their bodies and lives in jeopardy just to reach a goal in such a short time.
1. Does your coach have certifications or degrees to be in this position??? Don’t be afraid to ask! “Hey, what certifications do you have?” “Where did you get you degree in nutrition?” Anyone can say that they are a coach and can get you to the competition stage body you desire. But do they truly know what they are doing??
2. Okay so you found a coach. Awesome. If you are 12+ weeks out from a show and they are starting you on 2 a day cardio sessions and 1200 calories. RUN. And I mean fast. You will be miserable. Tired. Hungry…the list goes on and on. All for 5 minutes on the stage and a body that you won’t be able to maintain because your metabolism is screwed.

I have touched briefly on my experience in competition prep but just these 2 things alone would have saved me from what I am dealing with now. My body is completely out of whack. No matter what I eat I am completely bloated. I have been bloated for now 12 days and I’m worried the water weight is starting to turn to fat cells. Which I can’t doubt will happen since I was eating under 1200 calories and doing cardio 2 times a day and did prep for 18 weeks.

I was blown away reading an article on an experiment called the Minnesota starvation experiment. The project was done in 1944 to help understand how to rehabilitate WW2 soldiers that were starving. It was a 12 week experiment. Here’s a quote taken from the article:

The men’s resting metabolic rates declined by 40%, their heart volume shrank about 20%, their pulses slowed and their body temperatures dropped. They complained of feeling cold, tired and hungry; having trouble concentrating; of impaired judgment and comprehension; dizzy spells; visual disturbances; ringing in their ears; tingling and numbing of their extremities; stomach aches, body aches and headaches; trouble sleeping; hair thinning; and their skin growing dry and thin. Their sexual function and testes size were reduced and they lost all interest in sex. They had every physical indication of accelerated aging.

They neglected their appearance, became loners and their social and family relationships suffered. They lost their senses of humor, love and compassion. Instead, they became obsessed with food, thinking, talking and reading about it constantly; developed weird eating rituals; began hoarding things; consumed vast amounts of coffee and tea; and chewed gum incessantly (as many as 40 packages a day). Binge eating episodes also became a problem as some of the men were unable to continue to restrict their eating in their hunger.

Sounds oh so similar to pre and post contest. I can tell you every symptom listed. I have and am dealing with right now. It could take weeks or even months for my body to find the set point again. Just ask yourself is it worth it??? If you asked me. I’d say no. But most have to experience for themselves. Just go google “post competition rebound” and read on the many blogs of other women that have experienced the same. 5 mins on stage is not worth it.

 

The Transition Period….1 week post competition

During contest prep I was hearing so much about post competition rebound. I was determined to not let that be me. I had a plan set up for my self, I had done so much research, and I would even look at previous competitiors and just say, that will NOT be me. 1 week post competition and it is a HUGE mind game. So much harder when it is actually you dealing with the issue yourself! You are faced with the same temptations from food that you were before. Except the difference this time you have no reason to say no because your competition is over!

Coming off of competition prep is to me way harder than being on prep. Only because everything is structured and laid out where as post competition it’s like you are free. You can’t go back to eating the amount of food you were before competing because the bodies metabolism will not be able to handle it. But at the same time your body still feels hungry as your steady on this reverse diet. It then leads to binging which sucks even more.

I set up a reverse plan that I have been working on but not 100% following. I still feel bloated and almost wondering how much of this is fat that I have put on. I refuse to get on the scale to make myself even more upset

What’s weird…at the same time I feel so much better. My energy is back up. I am not on a “I have to go to the gym” schedule. I am able to focus on other things. My body is becoming more regulated overall. So then it becomes a battle between being happy and just healthy with some extra weight on or remembering how miserable being at 11% BF or at least how miserable it was getting there. My ultimate goal right now is to find balance between being happy and healthy yet being happy with my figure. Not losing control and obsessing over food and to eventually not have to track calories and macros. But I know it has to be taken a step at a time because my metabolism is nothing what it used to be.

If you are considering competing keep all of this in mind and have a plan post competition as it will be a tough transition. 95% of competitors I’m sure deal with it. I’ve noticed some deal with it by prepping for another competition only to have the same mental struggle after the next. I’m looking for a long lasting solution. Because of this I doubt I will compete again unless I know I am stronger mentally. My body is normal again. And the prep is not miserable while eating enough calories to keep me breathing. (Refer to my previous blog post concerning how my prep was)

 

Competition Day!

I competed in my first competition and it was quite the experience to say the least. I want to share everything including events leading up to show day and the day of the show.

So peak week arrived…so exciting! That’s when the fun part begins. All of the hard work of the last 18 weeks has been done and it was time to relax and enjoy the moment. On friday before competition day, I got my hair done in the morning then I went to my hotel where I took my last shower until competition was over. Yes, exactly. No shower until competition was over. hahaaa. On top of that you cant put lotion or deodorent on. It is because of the tan. Before you get spray tanned, you have to exfoliate in the shower then just completly dry off and not apply any moisturizer or deodorent. So you get to the room where you will be tanned and as soon as I walked in it was a group of chicks standing in front of a fan drying their tan butt naked. Talk about broken in. Lol. and everyone acts as if it is no big deal! It’s like okay whatever, youre naked, I’m naked. Yea pretty awkward at first but it is what it is.

Saturday was show day and it was just a hustle and bustle type of day most of the morning. I got my make up done first thing in the morning. Once my make up was done, I took the clips out of my hair to let my curls fall, put my suit on and it hit me. I am about to do this! Everything had come together so perfectly! I was getting excited!

Made it down to pre judging and it was just terrible. For me. They were making announcements when they wanted each class in the back to get ready to go on stage. Well I never heard them make an announcement for figure and it was getting pretty close to the time where I should have been going up. I walk back to check things out and masters figure is lining up. Talk about a complete freak out moment. I was no glued in to my suit and I had no been glazed. I did get to do my pre workout pump, last minute posing, and most important, get my mind focused. I literally threw everything together (with the help of my awesome coach and chrissy that competed bikini) and jumped on stage. Im sitting their holding back tears as hes like 112, walk to the box (on stage) in seconds I had to pull it together and throw on my happy face. This was it, I had to do it. I got off stage, went to my room and sat there like, what in the world just happened? I couldnt even remember anything. It was just…i dont even know. I had so many unexplainable emotions at the time. Took me a good 3 hours to process it all.

I was so unexcited about heading to finals. I walked down like, lets just get this over with so I can eat my burger. When I got down I saw all my friends and family and thats when I realized how much everything I had done was worth it. It meant to much to me to have that support from people that are closest to me. I ended up having a ball at finals!! No I did not place, but I took so much from this entire experience! and also ended with a rockin body too. hahaaaa

Who knows what my next crazy goal will be but I am happy that it is finalls over and I can enjoy my normal clean eating healthy life and go back to the times I worked out because I want to and not because I absolutely have to.

 

6 Days out-Competition Prep Updates

I am so happy that i have made it to my final week of contest prep. It has been quite the roller coaster through this prep and there were many times where I felt like giving up! In fact, I did at some points. I didnt want to finish. But it is not in me to not complete something I have started. I have had to make some tough decisions and make some huge changes during my prep. The first big one was finishing prep without a trainer, and second was changing to a completely different diet plan.

I started prep in January, which was 18 weeks out from show day. I was given a plan by my trainer and I followed it. First 4 weeks I was consistently losing 2 lbs per week. Which was great! After that, I hit a plateau for about a month. Nothing was happening. I was put on a carb cycle for about 2 weeks of no carbs for 4 days and carb load for 2 days. It worked the first week and failed the second week. After that, week after week, I would step on the scale and every so often would drop a pound here and there. Through all this my cardio increased from 40 minutes every day to 90 minutes everyday.

I knew something was wrong when I did not feel like myself. I had zero energy, my attitude sucked and all I wanted to do was sleep. I walked around looking like a zombie. Even others made comments of how I just didnt look good. So I decided to plug the macros and calories of my diet (yea I didnt even know what I was taking in for 14 weeks). 1100 calories, 40g carbs, 14g fat and 200g protein. No wonder I felt like crap. There was one cheat day allowed from my trainer that was about 3 weeks in. I had one other cheat that I talked about in my previous blog post and another cheat when I figured all of this out. My body was starving and not wanting to let go of fat. I was doing huge damage to my body! I watched Layne Nortons (freaking genius) video on metabolic damage and learned more of what the heck was happening to me. If you do not know about metabolic damage or plan to prepare for a competition PLEASE watch the video.

At 4 weeks out I had to make a decisions. My trainer and i did discuss previously changing my diet at 4 weeks out. But I didnt know if she was going to go forth and do it so I contacted a local guy myself. He made a plan for me and I began to notice results and changes like crazy. One, fat began dropping off my body again, and even better, my attitude was better and my energy increased so much! I could actually get through an entire 12 hr shift without wanting to fall over, and I was lifting more in my workouts!

Around a little over 2 weeks out, I was working with my trainer. Every single time I meet with her first thing she does is weigh me. The past 2 times she didnt so I was curious and asked. She was upset that i changed my diet and wanted me to go back to what I was originally doing. I said no way, not happening. After she told me she would not weigh me, i decided I had to finish the final weeks without a trainer. I wanted to do it sooner but this was the final straw. It just wasnt fair that this was happening at 2 weeks out. So now i have been using my scale at home to track my progress and not sure where my bodyfat is anymore.

So anyway, here I am now, 6 days out and 3 weeks after the change of my diet. I have lost 8 lbs. Decreased my cardio and increased my calories.

I have no idea what lies for me as far as future competitions. I would like to complete this one to the end and definitely take a break. Mostly because being on a diet sucks. Just good ol healthy and clean eating is way better. I miss cooking and baking and creating new recipes too. But this experience has been a not so good one for me so I dont think I ever want to do it. But I would want to do it again only because I know it can be done differently.

 

Either do it right or just stop now…

So today was kind of a big wake up call for me. Let me back track to the past month first. So in the past month my body has slowly gone into a plateau phase. So 2 weeks ago my trainer Sharon decided that it was time to do something drastic to restart my metabolism. She decided no carbs 4 days then 2 days with carbs. The first week it worked great. I lost 2 pounds. So she decided go another round of the same which was all last week. I did 4 days no carbs then when it came time for my carbs my mind went a bit crazy. I was doing good until I got home and was like hummm maybe I can have just a little bit of cereal. Well that little turned to a lot and I felt awful! I was IMMEDIATELY bloated. That carried into the next day. It set me back physically and mentally. I called my posing coach Katherine and she gave me some tips on how to avoid this from happening again. She really is a life saver when it comes to all my mental wtf moments. So Monday (today) I had to weigh in. I just knew I wasn’t going to have results. What do you know. Up 2lbs!!! So pissed at myself. I let myself down. And even worse all the people that are working with me to get me to the stage I let them down and feel like I wasted their time. Sharon brought me to John (competitive bodybuilder from the gym) who’s also been helping me and he basically said you gotta make a decision. Either you are going todo it and be all in and do it right or you are gonna just stop right now. Can I just say real tears in the gym today. After that talk, my trainer began our session. I’m still crying like a baby but what clicked was I really do what this! I owed that workout to myself. To give it everything!! And I did. It was a freak in hard workout. Shoulder press superset ending with 35lb dumbells. Holy crap that was hard. But I left there feeling better and refocused. I must keep pushing. No one said it would be easy!! No matter what, as long as I put in 100% on show day, I will look and be amazing!! It’s only my first show and it’s a learning process!! Using these pics to remember how far I have come! Trying to remain positive!! Today I’m 8 weeks and 5 days out!!! No time to waste!

 

Am I crazy?

I’ve decided to enter into the world of figure competing. I am so excited about this new challenge but has shown after just a week..it is not easy!

I get many questions about competing, what it’s about and why I’m doing it.
1. What is a figure competition? I try to find the most basic way to explain it and what I’ve come up with: like a beauty pageant for the best body. While true it sounds terrible and the meaning is way deeper than that. It’s a sport just like any other. You prep for 12+ weeks by changing your diet and working out in the gym most times twice a day. You bust your butt all this time and get on stage presenting all the hard work you have done.

2. Why am I doing it? Personal satisfaction. I love challenging myself. There is nothing more rewarding than doing something that most people are not able to do and kicking that challenge in the butt! Starting my weight loss journey there were many times that I wanted to give up. But once I hit my goal I felt on top of the world. I’m looking for that same satisfaction as well as challenging myself physically and mentally. Pushing myself beyond limits I ever even knew existed.

After 1 week…
I find that it is more of a challenge than I expected. I have been hungry, sore, tired, agitated, and more. But at the sane time I am feeling satisfaction from seeing results after one week! I had a break down after about 5 days. But I’m a big girl. Pulled myself together and kept pushing.

My diet right now is very low in carbs. And my body is reacting nicely. But I’m hungry. All the time. Like I can’t wait for the next meal..to eat..and be hungry still. Lol. Okay I’ll say and be a little less hungry.

The show I am doing is may 11. 17.5 weeks from today. Holy moly. Sounds far but so much will and needs to happen in 17 weeks!!!

I must continue to blog as this was quite stress relieving. Until next time. 🙂

This is what I’m starting with. Lets see what happens in the next couple weeks!!